i sweat and that’s that.

some gals shine, some gals glisten, and some gals just plain ol’ sweat. let’s just assume you are one of the sweaters just like me. please oh please, i hope you are! i can’t be the only sweaty person in the world, no way…for sure i am not. lovely, right?

not everyone sweats the same though. there are the beads of sweat on the nose sweaters. and the side of the temple drippy sort of sweaters. and let’s not forget all you above the lip sweaters. i happen to be one of the oh so gross back of the neck sweaters…neck towel, anyone? i guess it could be worse. i could be an underarm stain sweater. not cool to be her at all. it’s hard to look sophisticated with all that wetness going on. “wipe, dab, wipe, dab”.  would it be considered sophisticated to carry a small mobile fan with me? no. real women sweat? yes, they do and i am as real as they come.  sweating is just one of many wonderful tricks that my body performs.

love the summer, hate the heat. love the sun, hate the heat. hate the heat, hate the sweat.






just the sound of the word SUMMER makes me smile! Sure, I usually use this space to bitch and moan…but what’s to bitch and moan about SUMMER?! it’s a happy little season, isn’t it? i suppose if you live in a warm climate all year round, SUMMER means nothing…but to this girl: it means EVERYTHING!

flip flops – air those footsies out, people! let your toes see the world and color them pretty!

bbq’s- nothing wrong with bbq’ing all year round, but summer bbq’ing has more taste for some reason…same amount of calories unfortunately!

swimwear – yeah, i know…WHATEVS! show it, feel it, SWIM it!

daylight – longer days with the sun shining…what could be better?

watermelon – nuf said. winter watermelon? no thank you!

attitude – happy go lucky! okay, not all the time…but even stress feels better in the sunshine, in the water, on a raft, with a cocktail, enjoying a snack, la la la!

okay, this will be my last annoyingly happy post….i just can’t help myself today! SUMMER is here and i feel good!


holding it in…

no, not my emotions, silly! holding my pee in. yeah, it’s just that gross. sometimes i’m just that lazy. even if i walk by a bathroom, the thought of pulling down my pants just seems way too overwhelming. crazy, you say? YES! sure, it’s crazy! especially when ya gotta pee really really bad! eventually i get to it…i mean, ya just gotta get to it! and when i do finally get to it, i think “wow, what was all the hub bub about?”.  i bet you’re thinking to yourself, “why is this crazy girl wasting my time with a post like this?” my answer is, “i have no idea”. Women-Bathroom-Sign

knock knock…

is this thing on? anyone home? can you hear me?

yeah..i guess it’s on, i just haven’t had anything new to say. nah, that’s a lie. i always have something to say. summer is approaching any minute. the bathing suits in my drawer are reminding me of that. all i can think about is bbq’ing to be perfectly honest. my own and other people’s bbq’s are on top of my mind. summertime is for eating. how ironic is that?? eat more and strut around in something that resembles your underwear for all the public to see. yeah, that makes no sense. maybe it’s just me? maybe i’m the only one who dreams about hamburgers, and well-cooked hot dogs on the grill, chicken and ribs bathing in bbq sauce, buttery corn on the cob, potato salad “just like your mother made” but it’s really from shoprite, chips, pickles, and those deliciously sweet baked beans.



best time of day…

is in the morning when i still have all my allotted weight watcher points ahead of me.  35 points full of promise and hope. i can fill them with just about anything really.  i think i’ll go with a 6 point bag of m & m’s for breakfast just to get me started. that still leaves me with a ton of points; points for all my salty cravings, my late in the day sweet cravings and even some left over for some nutritional value. it’s really only in the morning that this all sounds so promising and hopefully. by 2:00 i’ve pretty much had it and my points are looking like little bitches just waiting for me to fail. what’s a girl to do at 8pm when all the good shows are on tv and i have nothing left in my points pool to munch on mindlessly? points shmoints! i mean, who lives like this? what kind of society are we dealing with here? tomorrow is another day, another morning will come and my 35 points will be back…maybe i’ll cut my m & m’s down to 4 points. hey, it’s all about the math!


people are annoying…

no offense to any of you fabulous people! i just mean, in general. someone just spoke to me for over fifteen minutes and i was literally sleeping inside my head…with my eyes open.

i enjoy great people; people who are fun and make me laugh. people who are interesting and make me think. people who are talented and make me envious.

people. people who need people are the luckiest people. i agree, ms. streisand! however, some people are very annoying! [i hope i’m not one of them]


matzoh or jelly beans?

with passover and easter just around the corner, my religion tells me that i should eat matzah and yet my tummy tells me something totally different;  GO TOWARDS THE JELLY BEANS! yeah, i enjoy matzah just like the next passover lovin’ guy, but i want the beans! when it comes to jelly beans, i consider myself lucky. my favorite is the black one. NOBODY ever likes the black ones. guess what? MORE FOR ME!  sure i love all the chocolate eggs too, but i can find chocolate all year round…and i do. jelly beans are the truest sign that spring is coming (whether the bunny comes or not).  black is beautiful!


age is just a number…

or is it? i think not!

i’m in my 46th year and i see a whole lot of change going on! recently the bags under my eye’s have decided to make a statement and believe you me, i hear them loud and clear [errr, see them i mean]! up until this point they totally had my back, but now those little bitches are starting real trouble. reality set in this morning when i noticed some change in my earlobes. yes, i said EARLOBES. they’ve actually started to sag. what? that only happens to old ladies, you say? well, is late 40’s the start of being an old lady? if so,  i just won’t stand for it. i won’t! i’ve made my peace with my saggy boobs, but earlobes is a whole other story and i’m just not okay with it! this aging process has really put a damper on all that wisdom i’m supposed to get when i’m older. great, i’ll be smart but i’ll look like dumbo.


if it’s green…

does that make it healthy? can i get an AMEN?! yes, i can!

it’s that time of year for the McDonald’s Shamrock Shake and all is good in the world once again! what’s better than sucking green bliss through a straw and getting a minty high  at the end of every slurp? NOTHING. i’m usually vanilla with this sort of thing, but when shamrock come’s a-callin’, i just have to “shake” it up!

run, don’t walk. RUN! do not pass go and drive up to the nearest Mickey Dee’s window and get yourself green and happy!


i heart oatmeal…

who would’ve thought that something that looks like a bowl of cement could be so delicious?! fat girl’s don’t like oatmeal…this is a meal for athletes i always thought. but no, this is totally my new addiction; my breakfast of champions. add a nice big dollop of brown sugar and this bowl of mush is just pure heaven. sure, i always knew that this wonderful oat was amazing in a cookie, but cooked to perfection is really all i want in the morning. well, besides more sleep of course. must. have. oatmeal.